children / Emotional side / policies / Temporary Housing

The emotional cost my children are paying.

Early this morning my 11 year old daughter climbed into bed with me and said her tummy was sore. I gave her some medicine and settled her down and eventually she dozed off.

When she woke up she said her tummy still hurts. She doesn’t want to eat. She just feels ‘ill’. She had no temperature but I decided she should have the day off school as she seemed in pain.

An hour ago she came to me crying. I hugged her and asked her where it was sore, did she feel sick etc. What she said has made my heart ache. And made me crosser then I can ever remember being.

“….I don’t think I’m going to be sick mum. It hurts that’s all. My tummy hurts because I keep feeling so scared all the time. Scared about where we might live next.I just want to stay here….”

My 11 year old daughter has a stomach ache from the stress of this. She is having physical symptoms from this awful situation already. And the next few weeks aren’t going to be much help with that are they?

And why? Because the council didn’t want us as another name on the homeless list. Another statistic to make them look bad. We have known for months this day would come. Months back when my section 21 landed on my mat. They could have spent the last few months looking for temporary housing which wouldn’t involve a b&b. They could have given me priority status for the bidding process. But instead they repeatedly said  ” go away and come back when you’re really desperate and then the only option we will have is b&b ”

They have made this situation so much more painful then it had to be. And my daughter is suffering. And my son will too when he’s lost his secure home. And me? I’m feeling like the worst mother in the world. My baby is hurting and I don’t know how to fix it.


14 thoughts on “The emotional cost my children are paying.

  1. It is Sarah. But not once have we been asked how we are coping by the council or given advice on where to get support. The human side to this policy is simply ignored in favour of statistics.

    • Thank you Lucy – There’s no point in self pity right now (as tempting as it is to slide into it!) There is always someone worse off and coping better and I feel a bit of a fraud using the ‘homeless’ term when I’ll not be sleeping on the streets like so many others.

      And she gives great hugs so you’d definitely want one!

  2. Note that b&b is usually only possible for them to use as an option for a short period; and they couldn’t refuse you the ability to register for a social home unless you’re non-qualifying. It sounds like you need some legal advice, if you’ll forgive me.
    Good luck with all that you’re facing – it is heart-rending. Give your daughter a hug from me.

    • Thanks Dave. They are supposed to stick to a 6 week period for b&b but aren’t managing that in any cases it seems. I am currently on the ‘normal’ housing list so am registered for social housing, but in a low band with low priority until Tuesday. The main fight was for registering a homelessness application. My local authority actively push you from doing this until the very last day they can. ie when a court order expires. It helps to keep their numbers down I guess.

      My daughter has escaped the hard work for a friends party this afternoon so she is much happier for now!

  3. Pingback: From the Mouths of Babes: The emotional cost my children are paying. « SMILING CARCASS'S TWO-PENNETH

  4. I have read your whole blog with sheer disbelief. I want to say so much but each time I write it it looks so patronising. You found really positive and I am sure there are good and bad days but you have the love of your children and they have a gorgeous mum who is in the middle of a crap time. I sincerely hope that things settle down and get sorted soon. Xxxx

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